This post came about when I was having a chat to Hayley about the end of the summer and my little boy returning to school. My mum passed away when I was 6 weeks pregnant with my little boy so sadly never got to meet him. It was only after I became a mother that I realised there was so much I wanted to ask her. I don't remember how much I weighed when I was born, what age I started to walk and talk, how old I was when I was potty trained and if my children's mannerisms and quirks are the same as mine were. We are very lucky in that my husbands family are able to fill in his side of the family tree but for me it is very much guess work.
I have pictures of my mum up in my house and my little boy has started to ask lots of questions about his "nanna Maggie". Whilst these questions always bring a lump to my throat I am happy that he is of an age where he is able to know her, even if he never met her. She would have adored him and he knows that.
Hayley and I are at different stages parenting wise. Her boys are teenagers whilst mine are just starting school so whilst I'm full of questions she is missing being able to share her boys achievements and milestones.
This post isn't supposed to be morbid and sad, we both have a very positive out look on life but sometimes you can't help but wish you could have one more conversation with someone you've lost. I'm not sure our mums would get a word in edgeways if Hayley and I were given the chance though!
Losing my Mum at a young age there were things I just didn't think of asking. There are lots of things I really want to know and at the time I probably wasn't that interested or they just didn't crop up. The worst feeling is knowing I will probably never find the answers, my grandparents both died just before my Mum so my questions remain unanswered.
But more important to me than unanswered questions are the things I want to share, my boys doing well at school, silly little things I just want to tell my Mum. I want to share my worries and ask my Mum her advice. I guess you never stop missing your loved ones, we just learn to live with the hole in our hearts. I miss my Mum every single day and I know I always will ~ Hayley xx